Picking up the lightweight snack, peeling back the blinding silver foil, placing that soft milk chocolate on your tongue, little by little you taste the milk chocolate melt away. When it is all gone and over with you are wishing you had more then one. That my friends is a Hershey Kiss, the irresistible delicious snack. Eating a Hershey Kiss is a prom you never want to end.
-Kylie B.
I love the title, but did you mean wrapper? Nice description. I like the blinding silver foil and your simile. I think a direct metaphor would have worked better (Eating a Hershey Kiss is a prom you never want to end).
ReplyDeleteYou need to proofread your work for errors in grammar and mechanics:
wrapper not rapper
lightweight is one word
than instead of then
commas after introductory clauses (comma after your when clause....after with and before you)